Shit talk

• Daoism: Shit happens.
• Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
• Islam: Shit will happen if our demands aren't met.
• Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
• 7th Day Adventists: Shit happens on Saturdays.
• Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
• Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
• Jehovah's Witness: Knock, knock. "Shit happens."
• Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?
• Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama lama ding dong.
• Athiesm: No shit.
• Zen: Neither shit nor no-shit, but non-shit.
• T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit.
• Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.